I can't be cheating if he's begging me to do it

How can anyone call it cheating if I sucked off a friend of ours with my husband begging me to do it?

It all happened late one Friday night. We had been watching a B-ball game with Bill, who had been a friend of ours for years. We had never done anything sexual before. There hadn't even been any real flirting to speak of. But after the game was over we were sitting there flipping through television channels and we hit the movie American Pie right in the middle of that funny blowjob scene. Bill said that looked good.

My husband agreed. Then he looked at me and asked if that looked good to me. I didn't know what to say but I felt my face get hot. I knew I was blushing brightly.

We had talked about something like this before but I wasn't ready for a question like that. I wasn't sure how to react. So I just said maybe, and I thought that would be the end of it. But my husband then asked me if I might want to do that right now. I looked at him. He and Bill looked at me. Nobody said a word. Then I shrugged and said I might think about it. That was all the encouragement he needed.

My husband started rubbing my shoulders. Bill watched quietly as my husbands hands got more personal and moved lower to other parts of my body. I was getting turned on. Soon I was in the right mood and it began.

That night I did them both, one after another. I got on my knees in front of Bill and took his dick in my mouth and sucked him off. My husband kneeled right beside me and rubbed me and watched. After Bill came in my mouth my husband sat back in his chair. I slid over between his legs and did the same to him, while Bill watched. We didn't do anything more than that while Bill was there, but after he left my husband and I had one wild fuck!

It was one hell of a night. We haven't done anything again since then but my husband said that Bill has mentioned that night more than once. I think they have talked between themselves about doing it again. I will post if it happens.

I don't care what someone else says, it's not cheating if my husband is pushing me to do it and watches the whole thing.

Hotwife or Cuckold?

What’s the diff? I see them both used a lot but nobody seems to know the diff. Here’s the conundrum:

A Hotwife is supposed to be a wife who has sex with other men. The difference between her and a cheating wife is that the husband knows about the Hotwife and I guess gets off on it.

A Cuckold is a man with a “cheating wife”. But these guys want their wives to see other men and the wives seem to agree to it, so how can that be “cheating”? I mean if you tell your wife it’s okay to fuck a lover how can she possibly be seen as a cheating? A "Hot" wife, sure, but hardly a cheating wife.

So the only real cuckolds are the ones who don’t know their wives are cheating, or who find out about it later. Cuckolds say that their wives are cheating, even if they know about it, because technically maybe their wives are violating the vows of matrimony.

I'll concede that this argument is probably the best one. Even though you know your wife is planning to do it, you helped her arrange it, you helped her pick out the dress and shoes, you reserved their hotel room, you kissed her goodbye, you waited by the phone all night knowing what she is doing and you sported a raging hardon all night thinking about it, then by all means, declare her a cheating wife. If it feeds the fantasy and works for everyone, what’s the diff?

But what is the diff in the lifestyle? Some say they are into Hotwifing. Others say they are into Cuckold.

Some Hotwives and their husbands arrange everything together. The husband and the other guy know everything about each other, and nothing is hidden. But some Hotwives do date others and their lovers don’t know about their husband. Some guys never even know that the woman is married.

With Cuckold couples the wife does seem to have more control, and maybe takes more charge of who she sees and when, with the husband taking the role of passive observer. The fact that the wife can be the one more in charge is probably the biggest difference I see in the Cuckold couples. Sometimes the wife will date a lover who doesn’t know that the husband is aware of his wife’s activities. But some Cuckold couples bring the wife’s lover into the home, where they flaunt their sexual acts in front of the Cuckold husband. So again there is no clear difference between Cuckold couples and Hotwife couples.

I find it interesting that there are so few clear definitions between the two, yet some couples are adamant that they practice Hotwifing but not Cuckold, and there are Cuckold couples that insist that they are not into Hotwifing.

Ah, humans. Such quirky creatures!

I finally realized nobody has the right to judge me

I hate being judged. I hate being classified. I’m not a number and I’m not a category and I'm not a class. I hate being lumped in with a million other people.

I sleep with other men but I'm not a cheater. I'm not one of those 4 out of 10, or 6 out of 10, or 54.23% of all married women who cheat on their husbands.

I don't cheat. I sleep with other men but my husband knows. He approves.

I’m me and there is nobody else like me. I know it. My husband knows it. That’s why he loves me and why he married me. He understands me too. He gives me what I need and he loves me, even after knowing everything that I need. That makes me love him even more. He loves me for who I am.

How many men know their wife needs to fuck around, and then let’s her? Not many. That much I know. Most men are more immature and insecure then they would ever admit. Most don’t even know they are. What they see as being protective is really a façade for being afraid that their wife will leave them for another. So they portray the protector but are really the defender; defending other men from approaching their woman. But that doesn’t stop women from looking or wanting or straying or even leaving. Some might say it creates more of a possibility for cheating.

Keeping someone in jail keeps them from being free.

I’m free. I’m as free as I’ve ever been in my life and I love it. It’s not just freedom to fuck. That’s a small part of it.

I’m free to come and go without suspicion, coercion or expectations. I’m free to enjoy being a part of something bigger than myself (like my marriage) without having to surrender part of myself to participate. I’m bolstered by my marriage, not handcuffed by it. I don’t have to shelve my sexuality, and trade it in for the stifling role of the traditional housewife, complete with regularly scheduled sex every Tuesday, Friday and birthdays.

I had that once. I don’t want it any more, or ever again. It’s not living. It’s not right. It’s not me. I need more. My husband knows I need more and he understands it and encourages it. He even gets off on it as you'll see later. I’m convinced that we were meant for each other. Nobody has ever touched my heart and my soul of who I am like this man. I love him so much for it.

But I need more, physically. I can’t help myself. More importantly I don’t have to repress my urges, and I don’t feel any need to try and repress my urges. I know my husband understands. That is freedom.

My husband fills my heart, but at times I need the feel of another man (or men). Other hands on me, other mouths on mine, other arms around me, other asses to rub, other stiff cocks to penetrate me. I sometimes need more. I don’t need it every night or every week. But I do need more occasionally. When that time comes I am free and I have permission to find someone new.

Is there anything better than someone new? It’s not love. But the feelings are not that different. The excitement feels a lot like being in love, and I enjoy that. When I meet someone new I cannot get enough of him at first. I like to talk every day and try to see them as often as I can. I once saw a new guy every night, five nights in a row, when we first met. That’s not the way it always works, but that time it worked out, and we fucked like monkeys every night. It was unbelievable and I still fantasize about those nights.

I love the exhilaration! It can be addicting. It makes me feel alive. Someone new in my life can have me fantasizing constantly. I can call or e-mail them several times a day, and I love hearing back from them. The talk can be a huge part of the affair for me. It extends the sexual expectations all day long and makes it that much better when I actually fuck him.

I’m through judging myself and I’m WAY past worrying about others judging me. I am who I am. I enjoy what I enjoy, and need what I need. My husband is the only one with an opinion that matters, and he encourages me to follow my heart and my urges.

So I’m going to keep doing what I do, and we will keep enjoying what we enjoy. Follow along if you like.